GOSSIP

The doctor was surprised and asked her how it happened. She replied “My boyfriend got into Harvard and was so excited he made love to me in his sweater”. The doctor gave her a cream and told her to apply for a few days and the mark will disappear. The next day, another girl came…

A knight rides on a road. Suddenly, a frog comes to him. – I am under a spell, – the frog says. – Kiss me, and I’ll become a beautiful princess, and will be your wife and love you forever. The knight kisses the frog and – Bamf! – it indeed turns into a princess….

A mother comes home from work to find that her kids are hiding behind the couch. She asks what’s wrong, and the kids reply that Aunt Sally was in the house naked. So she goes to her bedroom to investigate, and she finds her husband lying on the bed n@ked and sweaty. She asks, “What’s…

He comes home to find his wife on the couch wearing crotchless p@nties. She spreads her legs open and says “You want some of this baby!” He said “Fu*k No, look what it did to your underwear!”

In her tinder profile she said she’s 32 but also that she has the body of a 16 year old. But when I asked if I could see a photo she said I need to wait till tomorrow as she is n@ked and doesn’t want to go to the freezer in the basement when it’s…

I asked my masseuse if it was normal to get an Arection during my massage she said it was perfectly normal. I said, “Ok, but could you at least stop bumping it into me?”

I was with my wife at a family get together of her extended family. About 20 of us were in a large room sitting around talking when a 17 year old girl, my wife’s 2nd cousin, came in and started flirting with me. Long story short, she came and sat down in my lap “because…

My friend thought I was lonely so he set me up on a blind date with a beautiful girl from his work. She had long dark hair. Amazing boobs that really complemented her hourglass waist and a peach of a booty. The date went amazing, we shared lots of different interests and got on really…

Putin was traveling incognito in the Ukranian countryside and stopped to talk with a local farmer. “How big is your land” asked Putin. Farmer responded proudly “From here to that big oak tree in the near distance is one side of my land.” “Same square distance all around.” Farmer then asked Putin “How big is…

When my Tinder date arrived in the restaurant, I guided her to her seat, and asked, “Shall I push your stool in?”… She said, “Let’s first see how this date goes.”