GOSSIP

What do b00bs and Christmas trees have in common? When you see really nice ones, you have to ask if they are real or fake.

A nurse is bathing a female patient who is in a coma when she notices that the patients heart rate and breathing increase whenever she cleans the genital area. She gets the idea that 0ral s*x might actually revive her. She calls the patient’s husband over and explains that 0ral s*x might revive her, and…

A doctor is walking through a hospital and suddenly sees one of the nurses. Her hair is in disarray, her uniform is open, the bra is pushed up, her breasts are in plain view… – Excuse me, Ms. Arrington, what is this dress code? Put your clothes on properly. The nurse looks down, sees the…

A young Englishman was beset by an existential crisis. He didn’t know what to do with his life and struggled with terrible bouts of depression and anxiety. One day, he decided to travel to Vienna to see the eminent psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud. Upon arriving in Vienna, he ran as fast as he could to see…

A young handsome traveler is stumbling through the forest when he comes across a clearing with a tower in it. He is tired, thirsty, hungry, so he goes to knock on the tower door. An ancient looking old man answers the door. He offers the young man food, drink, and shelter for the night. When…

A CEO of a multinational corporation was flying across the Pacific and decided he had to go to the bathroom. So he got up and started walking down the aisle, but just as he passed the plane door it malfunctioned, opened and he was sucked out. Miraculously he survived landing in the water and saw…

A man dies of heart failure and his wife of 40+ years goes to the funeral home to make arrangements for his burial. After the funeral director had gone through the usual questions he asked the widow if she had any special requests pertaining to the burial. She replied, “I want him buried with his…

I was on a plane with my dad when the pilot announced, “Ladies and Gentlemen, we are 30,000 feet up in the air.” Dad: I think he’s lying. There’s no way there are 15,000 people on this flight.

Wife: “How would you describe me?” Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.” Wife: “What does that mean?” Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.” Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?” Husband: “I’m just kidding!”

Three men were talking about their teenage daughters: The first says “I was cleaning my daughter’s room the other day and found a packet of cigarettes. I didn’t even know she smoked”. The second says “That’s nothing. I was cleaning my daughter’s room the other day when I came across a full bottle of Vodka….