What can you say during golf and in bed with someone?
What can you say during golf and in bed with someone? Wrong hole! Get in that hole daddy I’m trying to finish in the least amount of strokes
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A woman walks into a bar and says to the bartender
A woman walks into a bar and says to the bartender “four double whiskeys and coke please”. “Wow… rough day?” asks the bartender. The woman replies “Yeah, I just found out my brother is g@y”. “Oh well, to each their own” says the bartender. The next day the woman walks into the bar again. “4…
A sales Girl rings the doorbell
A sales girl rings the doorbell on a house, and the door is opened by a 10 year old, holding a glass of cognac and smoking a cigar The sales girl is a bit stunned, but plows forward and asks, “Is your dad home?” The kid replies, “What the fu*k do you think?”
A private investigator is contacted with a job offer
A private investigator is contacted with a job offer, and asked to come to the penthouse suite of a skyscraper. During the long elevator ride up, he can’t help but wonder what the job is, and whether it’s worth taking. When he finally arrives in the suite, he finds a well-dressed gentleman sitting at a…
Why are Scandinavian girls so good looking?
Why are Scandinavian girls so good looking? Because the Vikings didn’t take the ugly ones.
My wife just found out she’s adopted.
My wife just found out she’s adopted. She’s devastated and kept asking “Why didnt they want me?” I comforted her and after a while, still crying, she asked me to make love to her, which led to more tears. On reflection, b@nging her from behind and shouting “WHO’S YOUR D@DDY?!” was a little insensitive.
little Johnny Wants a Bicycle as a Birthday Gift
His father said, “Son, we’d give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.” The next day the father saw little Johnny heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, “Son, where are you going?” Little…
A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach
A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach when a well-endowed, beautiful, young, blonde woman in a tight-fitting bikini strolled passed. The woman looked at the doctor, smiled seductively, and said in a very sexy voice,“Hi there handsome. How are you doing?” before wiggling her backside and walking off.“Who was that?” demanded the…
a woman who wants to get a breast implant…
there’s a woman who wants to get a breast implant… She talks to her doctor and he says “I have the perfect product for you! We invented a pump that can be inflated by flapping your upper arms. If you want to deflate when you, say, go running, you can deflate them by pushing a…
A blonde and a brunette got stuck in an elevator
A blonde and a brunette got stuck in an elevator..Blonde starts shouting:“Help! Help!”Brunette turns to her and says:“We should shout together.”Blonde:“Together! Together!”