GOSSIP

A girl was a pr0st!tute, but she didn’t want her grandma to know.One day, the police raided a whole group Of pr0st!tutes at a s*x partyin a hotel and the girl was among them.The Police took them outside and had all the pr0stitutes line up along the driveway when suddenly the girl’s grandma came by…

Went to str!pclub last night, they had a special on the burgers and dogs. My buddy Ray ordered the burger, I ordered 2 dogs. After our t0pless ‘waitress’ walked back into the kitchen, I caught her slip a frozen party into her armpit. When she came back with our drinks, I asked “WTF, why is…

The conductor came in and began checking the tickets of the passengers. He approached the lady sitting in the first seat. She didn’t have a ticket. The conductor fined her 20$ even though the ticket cost 40$ because she was wearing a small skirt and he could see most of her leg. He then came…

What can you say during golf and in bed with someone? Wrong hole! Get in that hole daddy I’m trying to finish in the least amount of strokes

A woman walks into a bar and says to the bartender “four double whiskeys and coke please”. “Wow… rough day?” asks the bartender. The woman replies “Yeah, I just found out my brother is g@y”. “Oh well, to each their own” says the bartender. The next day the woman walks into the bar again. “4…

A sales girl rings the doorbell on a house, and the door is opened by a 10 year old, holding a glass of cognac and smoking a cigar The sales girl is a bit stunned, but plows forward and asks, “Is your dad home?” The kid replies, “What the fu*k do you think?”

A private investigator is contacted with a job offer, and asked to come to the penthouse suite of a skyscraper. During the long elevator ride up, he can’t help but wonder what the job is, and whether it’s worth taking. When he finally arrives in the suite, he finds a well-dressed gentleman sitting at a…

Why are Scandinavian girls so good looking? Because the Vikings didn’t take the ugly ones.

My wife just found out she’s adopted. She’s devastated and kept asking “Why didnt they want me?” I comforted her and after a while, still crying, she asked me to make love to her, which led to more tears. On reflection, b@nging her from behind and shouting “WHO’S YOUR D@DDY?!” was a little insensitive.

His father said, “Son, we’d give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.” The next day the father saw little Johnny heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, “Son, where are you going?” Little…