GOSSIP

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel. After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead. No sign of the blonde. After 12 hours they decide they’d better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on…

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. “Quick,” said the woman to her lover, “into the closet!” and she pushed him in the closet, stark n@ked. The husband, however, became suspicious and…

A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. She’s down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, “What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?” A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, “I don’t know… why don’t you play your age?” He…

A woman in her 90s calls her doctor and asks: “Doctor, where is the heart?” To which the doctor replies: “it is at the height of your left n*pple” The elderly woman thanks the man and ends the call. A new day arrives and the doctor reads the headline of his newspaper “Elderly woman wants…

The woman got up on stage of the theatre, looking at it onto the crowd awaiting her performance. She opened her mouth and started to sing. Looks of suprise went out amongst the audience. “I’m sure they’ve never heard anyone like me!”. But her confidence turned to shock when people got up and left the…

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play t*pless.” One man replies “I’m sorry madam we have a strict dress…

Two statues were standing in the park, one, a n*de man and one, a n*de woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years. One day an angel comes down from the sky and with a single gesture, brings the two to life. The angel tells them, “As a reward…

A blonde is going door to door trying to find some paying work She knocks on one door and an older man opens it up. “Hey mister, do you have any odd jobs I could do for cash?” He looks her up and down and surmises that she’s an idiot whom he can take advantage…

Every spring, as soon as the snows thawed, a certain mountain woman would come down into town, have a baby and gather supplies for the summer. After a few years of this, she looked despairingly at the doctor and said, “Doctor, I don’t know how much more of this I can handle. We got us…