GOSSIP

Two statues were standing in the park, one, a n*de man and one, a n*de woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years. One day an angel comes down from the sky and with a single gesture, brings the two to life. The angel tells them, “As a reward…

A blonde is going door to door trying to find some paying work She knocks on one door and an older man opens it up. “Hey mister, do you have any odd jobs I could do for cash?” He looks her up and down and surmises that she’s an idiot whom he can take advantage…

Every spring, as soon as the snows thawed, a certain mountain woman would come down into town, have a baby and gather supplies for the summer. After a few years of this, she looked despairingly at the doctor and said, “Doctor, I don’t know how much more of this I can handle. We got us…

Doris is sitting in a bar and says to her friend that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her bre@sts. The bartender tells her, “Hey, you don’t need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery.” Doris asks, “How do I do it without surgery?” “Just rub toilet paper…

One day a blonde and Brunette where out for a drive in the Blonde’s new car. Suddenly, some jerk pulled out in front of them. The Blonde then put her lips to the steering wheel. The Brunette fearing for her life, but had the courage to ask, “What the hell are you doing that for?”…

A doctor is delivering a baby. The head comes out and the baby says “Hey, you my dad?”. The doctor is shocked, says no and the baby shoots back inside the mother. The doctors calls the gynaecologist over to have a look. Again the baby’s head pops out, “Hey, you my dad!?” The gynaecologist says…

Professor X [sitting in his wheel chair] asks a girl, “what is your mutant power?” Girl replies: “I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!” She points up and says: “3 pulls” Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. After the third pull the fan turns…

Found in the comments to the picture of a nice looking girl. He: “Could you please send me one of your pubes for me to clone?” She: “You know how to clone people?” He: “People?! God no! Just pubes.”

The old woman enters the doctors room and the doctor asks her to sit on the table so he can examine her. He starts by testing her reflexes. The doctor takes out his reflex hammer and taps on one knee. The elderly woman gasps but her leg doesn’t jerk. Concerned the doctor hits the other…

As a man and a woman lay on a beach, the man notices someone with a metal detector. “I wonder if he’s found anything,” he says to his wife, “I’m gonna to go ask him.” “C’mon honey, leave the loser alone.” But he was already up and walking over. “Found anything?” the man calls out….