GOSSIP

My wife said to me “If I ever get Alzheimer’s I would commit suicide rather than burdening you with me” I said “That’s the fifth time you’ve said that today”

A dying husband in a hospital bed asks his wife, “Our seventh child always looked different from the other six. Did he have a different father?” His wife, crying uncontrollably answers, “Yes.” He asks, “Whose is it?” His wife replies, “Yours!”

A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!” “Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda. 2nd woman: Hi! I’m Lynne. How’d you die? 1st woman: I Froze to Death. 2nd woman: How Horrible! 1st woman: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? 2nd…

An older man was married to a younger woman. After several years of a very happy marriage, he had a heart attack. The doctor advised him that in order to prolong his life, they should cut out s**. He and his wife discussed the matter and decided that he should sleep in the family room…

The manager hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. While leaving the room, she courteously said, “Oh, sir, did you know that your barracks door is open?” He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down…

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very s*xy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone’s socks off with her youthful s*x appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast….

A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. “There is a blind man to see you,” she says. “Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not matter if I’m in the shower. Send him in.” The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother…

When you have good news… and bad news Sherry the secretary walked into her boss’s office and said, “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you.” “Sherry honey, why do you always have to give me bad news?” he complained. “Tell me some good news for once.” “Alright, here’s some good news,” said the…