GOSSIP

Three men died and were greeted by Satan at the gates of hell. Welcome, you sinners! Here in hell, your rank and your mode of transportation is based on your Your experiences with women. And then he asks the first man, How many were you with? The man thinks and says, I think it must…

A woman had been shopping the whole day at the mall and was almost ready to go back home. When she noticed a tattoo artist doing a really amazing tattoo for this one woman, she goes closer to take a look and is absolutely amazed how talented the man is. Once the tattoo artist finished…

Tom calls his boss and says, “Hey boss, I can’t come to work today. I’m really sick—got a headache, stomach ache, and my legs hurt. I just can’t make it.” The boss replies, “Tom, I really need you today. Listen, when I feel like that, I go to my wife, and we… you know, get…

A man goes to a restaurant for dinner. He has a seat at a table and opens a menu to find out that none of the foods have prices next to them. He beckons the waiter over and asks, “How much is the Fettuccine Alfredo?” The waiter says, “A penny.” The man exclaims, “A penny?…

A new bride went to her doctor for a check up. Lacking knowledge of the male anatomy, she asked the doctor “What’s that thing hanging between my husband’s legs?” The doctor replies “We call that the penis.” The new bride then asks “What’s that reddish/purple thing on the end of the penis?” The doctor replies…

Three women were sitting around talking about their s@x lives. The first said, “I think my husband’s like a championship golfer. He’s spent the last ten years perfecting his stroke.” The second woman said, “My husband’s like the winner of the Indy 500. Every time we get into bed he gives me several hundred exciting…

I thought about an old age question: is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the bollocks? Women always maintain that giving birth is far more painful than a bloke getting kicked in the bollocks. Well, after another beer and some heavy deductive thinking, I came up with the answer to that question: getting…

A young man is starting his  first ever job at a morgue.  The boss of the morgue thinks, I’ll throw  him in at the deep end on his first day  give him a real challenge. So he takes the  young man to a door and he tells the young man  “Behind this door is a…

Jack woke up with a pounding hangover after his company’s Christmas party. He couldn’t even remember how he got home. Feeling awful, he worried he might have done something embarrassing. When he finally forced his eyes open, the first thing he noticed was a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the…

A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off. Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating. “How come you are sweating?” he asks. The parrot replies, “Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?”