GOSSIP

one morning while his wife was makingbreakfast, a man walked up to her andgave her a healthy pinch on her butt. hesaid to her, if you firmed up your butt,we could get rid of your girdle. the wifewas angry but said nothing. the nextmorning, her husband pinched her breastand said, if you firm these up,…

A woman had been working tirelessly all day and was completely exhausted. On her way home, she stopped at the grocery store and decided to call her husband. “Honey, what would you like for dinner tonight?” she asked. The husband, clearly preoccupied with work, replied, “I don’t know. I’m swamped at the office. Just surprise…

Jim decided to propose to Sandy but prior to her acceptance Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. she informed Jim that she suffered a disease that left her a majority of a 12 year old. he stated that it was okay because he loved her so much. I too have…

a woman was cheating on her husband with three guys. during one night she noticed that her husband came home earlier. she told the guys to hide in the Sacks. when her husband entered the room, he asked, “what are these sacks doing here?” the woman answered, “well my relatives came by and left this…

a woman went to the service counter and told the clerk, she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won’t work. the clerk told her that he can’t give her a refund, because she bought it on special. suddenly the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming. “pinch…

a woman sits down on a plane for a long flight, sitting in the window seat. next to her is a middle-aged man. sometime after the plane takes off, the man lets out a small achoo. immediately he unzips his pants, pulls his d*ck out and wipes it off. aghast, the woman is so stunned…

a man goes into a brothel in Amsterdam one night. he finds from there a very attractive young woman and asks her, “how much do you charge for 1 hour?” the woman says, €200. he thinks for a while and then says, “fine, but do you do Glasgow style?” she says, no, I don’t. the…

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned I have been with a loose girl.” The priest asks, “Is that you, little Tommy O’Shaughnessy?” ‘Yes, Father, it is.” “And who was the girl you were with?” “I can’t tell you, Father I don’t want to ruin her reputation.” “Well, Tommy, I’m sure to find out her…

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, “Your mom’s the best sex in town!” Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the…

A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper.Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?”…