GOSSIP

A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper.Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?”…

A young man wanted to ensure that his virgin bride’s inexperience wouldn’t cause any tension or discomfort in their marriage. One evening, as they sat together, he decided to address the topic delicately. He gently explained, “I want you to feel completely comfortable with me, and I don’t want you to ever feel pressured or…

Joe had always dreamed of owning a Harley motorcycle. One day, he finds a stunning Harley for sale that looks brand new, despite being 10 years old. Impressed, Joe asks the seller how he kept it in such pristine condition. “It’s simple,” the seller explains. “Whenever it’s outside and it looks like rain, just rub…

A naked police officer came to work and his commander, shocked, asked him: “why did you come naked?”The police officer said: “There was a party last night I attended. At 00:00 all lights went off and we were in the dark. All of a sudden a voice said that all females should undress. You could…

An Italian woman married a Canadian man and moved to Toronto. While happy together, she struggled with English, which made grocery shopping an adventure. One day, she needed chicken legs. Unsure how to ask, she clucked like a chicken and lifted her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher understood and handed her chicken legs….

Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, “I hear you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly.” “Oh no!” the second woman replies. “I just said your new hairstyle makes you look… less attractive.” The first woman narrows her eyes. “And I heard you’ve been calling me fat!” “Not at all!” the…

A man walks into a bar and asks, “Does anyone here own the Rottweiler outside?” “Yeah, I do!” says a biker, standing up. “What about it?” “Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him…” The man hesitated. “What are you talking about?!” the biker says in disbelief. “How could your little runt kill my Rottweiler?”…

Lisa, an 18-year-old, nervously approaches her mother holding a small box. With trembling hands, she shows her mother a positive pregnancy test. Her mother, shocked and emotional, demands, “Who is the irresponsible man who got you into this situation? I want to know now!” Lisa, knowing the father of her unborn child comes from a…

A farmer spends $7,000 on a young registered Black Angus bull to mate with his cows.He puts the bull out with the herd, but the animal just eats grass. He won’t even look at the cows. The farmer feels cheated, so he brings in the local vet to check out the bull. The bull is…

A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband’s best friend. They make love for hours, and afterward while they’re just laying there,the phone rings. Since it is the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of…