GOSSIP

It was two o’clock in the morning… and a husband and wife were sleeping when suddenly the phone rang. The husband picked up the phone and said, “Hello? (paused for a few seconds) How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?” and slams the phone down. His wife rolls over and…

Wife: “Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that?” Husband: “How can I? I don’t even know her.”

Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day. They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven. The angel said “Unfortunately, there’s only one space in Heaven today so I must decide which one of you will be admitted.” The Angel asked…

A lab supervisor was on duty in the university’s computer lab on a quiet afternoon. He noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest and staring at the screen. After about ten minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position only…

Two bowling teams, one made up of all blondes and the other one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend tournament in Atlantic City. The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus and the blonde team rides on the top level. The brunette team down below is whooping it up…

There were three nurses in a morgue… They entered a room where they had discovered that there was a dead man laying on the bed with a hard-on. The first nurse was very forward and said, “Wow! I have never seen that before, I can’t let that go to waste”. After saying this the first…

A man notices his wife’s b*tt is getting big… “I bet your b*tt is as big as my grill.” His wife rolls her eyes, but he gets a tape measure, measures her bottom, measures the grill, and teases her that they’re about the same size. That night, he tries to see if he can get…

So I took off her shirt. Then she said, “Take off my skirt.” I took off her skirt. “Take off my shoes.” I took off her shoes. “Now take off my br@ and p@nties.” and so I took them off. Then she looked at me and said, “I don’t want to catch you wearing my…

I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. They told me I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.

Paddy bought a camel from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the camel the next day. In the morning he drove up and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The camel’s died.’ Paddy replied, ‘Well just give me my money back then.’ The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I’ve…