YOUR LIFESTYLE MAGZINE
Doris is sitting in a bar and says to her friend that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her bre@sts. The bartender tells her, “Hey, you don’t need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery.” Doris asks, “How do I do it without surgery?” “Just rub toilet paper…
One day a blonde and Brunette where out for a drive in the Blonde’s new car. Suddenly, some jerk pulled out in front of them. The Blonde then put her lips to the steering wheel. The Brunette fearing for her life, but had the courage to ask, “What the hell are you doing that for?”…
A doctor is delivering a baby. The head comes out and the baby says “Hey, you my dad?”. The doctor is shocked, says no and the baby shoots back inside the mother. The doctors calls the gynaecologist over to have a look. Again the baby’s head pops out, “Hey, you my dad!?” The gynaecologist says…
Professor X [sitting in his wheel chair] asks a girl, “what is your mutant power?” Girl replies: “I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!” She points up and says: “3 pulls” Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. After the third pull the fan turns…
Found in the comments to the picture of a nice looking girl. He: “Could you please send me one of your pubes for me to clone?” She: “You know how to clone people?” He: “People?! God no! Just pubes.”
The old woman enters the doctors room and the doctor asks her to sit on the table so he can examine her. He starts by testing her reflexes. The doctor takes out his reflex hammer and taps on one knee. The elderly woman gasps but her leg doesn’t jerk. Concerned the doctor hits the other…
As a man and a woman lay on a beach, the man notices someone with a metal detector. “I wonder if he’s found anything,” he says to his wife, “I’m gonna to go ask him.” “C’mon honey, leave the loser alone.” But he was already up and walking over. “Found anything?” the man calls out….
My wife said to me “If I ever get Alzheimer’s I would commit suicide rather than burdening you with me” I said “That’s the fifth time you’ve said that today”
A dying husband in a hospital bed asks his wife, “Our seventh child always looked different from the other six. Did he have a different father?” His wife, crying uncontrollably answers, “Yes.” He asks, “Whose is it?” His wife replies, “Yours!”
A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!” “Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”