GOSSIP

A beautiful woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. The woman s*ductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard. “Are you the manager?” she asked, softly stroking his face…

A mother-in-law stopped by unexpectedly to a recently married couple’s house… She knocks on the door, then immediately walks in. She is shocked to see her daughter-in-law laying on the couch completely naked. “What are you doing?” She asked. “I’m waiting for Jeff to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered. “But you’re n@ked!” the…

A guy walks into a clinic to have his blood type taken. The nurse goes about taking the blood sample from his finger after finishing she looks around for a piece of cotton to wipe away the excess blood. She can’t find it so she looks innocently at the guy, takes his finger and sucks…

A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday. She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, ’Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me…

Judge: Why do you want divorce? Petitioner: My wife asks me to peel off garlic, cut onions, wash utensils. Judge: What’s the problem in this? Just warm up the Garlic, it will be easy to peel it. Before cutting Onions just chill them in the refrigerator and then while cutting them the eyes won’t burn….

A man and a woman were dating. She being of a religious nature had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so bad. In fact, he had never even seen her undressed. One day, as they drove down the highway together, the man couldn’t resist his urges any longer. He pulled over…

“Quick! Give me a pint of lager, and then a whisky, then another pint and another whisky, then a pint and a whisky, a pint and a whisky, a pint and a whisky, another pint, another whisky, and finally a pint and a whisky” As fast as the bartender is pouring the drinks, the man…

A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 AM. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, “How am I supposed to know? We’re 200 miles inland!” and hangs up. Her husband rolls over and asks, “Sweetheart, who was that?” “I don’t know,some dumb bitch asking if the…

One night, a couple is in the bed and the husband smoothly caresses their wife’s arm… the wife is turned and she tells him: I’m sorry but I have an appointment with the gynecologist tomorrow and I want to be fresh. The husband, rejected, turns back to his bed side and tries to sleep… Some…

A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, “Honey, if I died would you get married again?” The husband said, “No sweetie.” The woman said, “I’m sure you would.” So the man said, “Okay, I would” Then the woman asked, “Would you let her sleep in our bed?” And the man replied,…