GOSSIP

While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head in the lush. Dazed and confused, I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiney new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, “Are…

A soldier gets his p*nis blown off in jungle combat and is sent to the closest field hospital. The doctor at the field hospital says sorry son your p*nis is completely blown off, there is nothing I can do.. well there is something but it would be completely experimental . The next morning the soldier…

After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening . when the wife felt her husband begin to touch her in ways he hadn’t in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then…

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your sk*rt. I’ll explain later.” The nun agreed… A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?” The nun replied, “He went that way.” After the MPs ran off, the soldier…

Teacher : Can you tell the name of 3 great Kings who have brought happiness and peace into people lives? Student : Smo-king, Drin-king & F*c-king

A husband comes home to his wife after being fired from the pickle factory… His wife asks him “So what happened?” The husband explains “I often get bored at work and today my mind was wandering and I thought to myself ‘what would happen if I stuck my penis inside the pickle slicer?’” The wife…

Two hot young ladies are talking one afternoon about the weekend just past. The first named Faba, and the second, Mujo, discussed Faba’s last date. “You know what Mujo, I was out last night with an intellectual type” Faba declared. “What’s that? What’s do you mean intellectual type?” Mujo asked with curiosity. “Well, I mean…

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, ‘Hello.’ ‘Mrs. Sanders, please.’ ‘Speaking.’ ‘Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband’s doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your…

Bob told his daughters, “As soon as your dates arrive I’ll talk to them. If I don’t like them, I’ll shoot them.” The doorbell rang and bob answered the door, shotgun in hand. “Who are you?” Bob asked. The boy said, “My name is Teddy. I am going steady with Betty. We are getting Spaghetti….

Two blondes walking down the street. One reaches into her pocketbook for a make up compact and looks into the mirror. “This picture looks like someone I know” she says. The other one has a look and says, “Of course dummy, it’s ME….”