A soldier gets his p*nis blown off in jungle combat and is sent to the closest field hospital.
The doctor at the field hospital says sorry son your p*nis is completely blown off, there is nothing I can do.. well there is something but it would be completely experimental .
The next morning the soldier wakes up and slowly lifts the sheets only to see a baby elephant trunk had been sewn on were his p*nis used to be.
At first, he is upset but can’t help but admire the length and girth of his new p*nis. The doctor tells him not to worry and to return in a week for a checkup.
Two days later the soldier is back in his office. Why are you back so soon, is there a problem with your p*nile implant?
Yes says the soldier, every time I try to eat something my p*nis takes it from me and shoves it up my @ss.