GOSSIP

After a couple of drinks she asks me to get u*dressed. I took off my shoes and socks and she screamed “what happened to your toes?” Me-When I was a kid I had toelio. Her-Do you mean polio? Me-No girl, look at my toes. It was toelio. Then I took off my pants. She screamed…

One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world. She was an innocent bride with no experience. After the wedding, they left for their honeymoon. While driving down the road, the new bride sees two cows having s*x. The new bride asks, “What are them cows…

A woman goes out shopping with her husband and spots a pair of shoes she likes and must have… The husband says, “No f*cking chance love, They’re too expensive!” Later on that night in bed, The wife is just falling off to sleep when the husband tries his luck and places his hands on her…

As soon as the newlyweds returned from their honeymoon, the young bride called her mother, who lived a couple of hours away. “How did everything go?” her mom asked. “Oh, mother,” she began, “The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic, we had a terrific time. But, mother, on our way back, Andy started using really horrible…

A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates Peter says, “Welcome to Heaven, do you have any questions?” To which the man replies, “Yes, my girlfriend and I never had a chance to get married while we were alive. Can we get married in Heaven?” Peter…

“Son, I killed 12 people in Afghanistan” Son: Dad you were a cook. Dad:Never said I was a good one

A woman takes her 4-year-old son in for his yearly well-child visit to the doctor. The doctor asks the little boy, “Do you know your name?” He tells her yes my name is, “Timmy.” And Timmy, do you know your mom’s name? Yes her name is Mommy, said Timmy. And what is Mommy’s real name…

The donkey told the tiger, “The grass is blue.” The tiger replied, “No, the grass is green .” The discussion became heated, and the two decided to submit the issue to arbitration, so they approached the lion. As they approached the lion on his throne, the donkey started screaming: ′′Your Highness, isn’t it true that the grass is…

In ancient Greece there lived an old man (Cimon). The old man was sentenced to hunger death, he was kept in prison. The idea was to keep him hungry till he died. His darling daughter who was lactating pleaded with the government to see him (Cimon) everyday at least until his death. She was granted…

A young blonde was on vacation in the swamps of Louisiana She really wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes to bring back for her boyfriend but didn’t want to pay the high prices the local stores were charging. After becoming very frustrated with the local shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “I’ll just go out and…