GOSSIP

A new tenant moved into the apartment across from me. A couple of days later, there was a knock at the door. I opened the door, and there stood the most stunningly beautiful woman I’d ever seen. As far as I could tell, all she was wearing was a mid-thigh-length satin nightgown tied at the…

The wife went to bed with her lover, and the husband came to lunch. The wife quickly hid her lover in the fridge. The husband goes into the kitchen, opens the fridge and… – Who are you? – Pete. – What are you doing here? – I’m eating sausage. The husband returned to work and…

Two couples were playing cards. Tom accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Alex’s wife was not wearing any panties. Shocked, Tom hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, Tom went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Alex’s…

An elderly man had owned a large farm in Louisiana for many years. Right at the back of the farm, there was a large pond ideal for swimming. The old farmer had fixed it up nicely with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. One evening, the farmer decided to go down…

A trucker pulled into his regular truck stop diner. Noticing there was a new blonde waitress, he thought he could confuse her with his order. He said, I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights, and a pair of running boards. The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the…

4 men are in the hospital waiting rooms, because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations, you’re a father of twins.” The man says, “That’s a crazy coincidence, because I work for the Minnesota Twins.” The nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations, you’re the father…

A business woman was very busy and had a hectic schedule. She called her husband and said, “Darling, I have to work late tonight. I was going to go shopping at the department store after I got off work, but I just don’t have the time. Would you be a dear, and stop at Hopkins…

A blonde hitchhiking on the highway gets picked up by a trucky. They get down the road, and the blonde needs a piss.“I ain’t stopping! I’m already behind, and I stopped to get you,” said the trucky.“There’s an empty Coke bottle there; use that.” The blonde thinks about it but can’t do it and says,…

A woman gets married and shortly afterwards her husband dies. A friend tries to console her and asks, “What happened to your husband?”    “He died of from eating poison mushrooms,” said the wife.    The woman gets married a second time and not long after the marriage her second husband dies. The same friend…

Two wives finally find some time to have a night out, just the two girls. After a night of happy drinking, they decide to wobble home, but on the way both have a desperate need to pee. They nip into a cemetery, do the deed and realize they have nothing to wipe themselves with. So…