GOSSIP

There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having s*x on a bench. The little girl says “Mommy what are they doing?” The mother hesitates then quickly replies “Ummm… they are making cakes. now come on, we’ll go to the Zoo” At the Zoo,…

A young woman brings home her fiancé to meet her parents… After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancé to his study for a drink. “So, what are your plans?” the father asks the young man. “I am a scholar,” he replies. “A scholar?”…

Mr. Johnson got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet, and very polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. When leaving the room, she said, “Mr. Johnson, your barracks door is open.” He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down and saw that…

Me: “Hello.” NOT-Microsoft support: “Hello. This is Bob Bobson from Microsoft Support. We are seeing a lot of virus activity from your device.” Me: “Oh no. My device? Are you sure?” NOT-Microsoft support: “Oh yes, we have many reports.” Me: “Oh jeez. How can I fix it?” NOT-Microsoft support: “It’s OK sir. We can help…

Mrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair. The first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, “I wear a wig, because I was born totally hairless. Not a hair on my body, not even down there.” That night, Mrs. Schmidlap tells her husband. He says, “I’ve never seen anything like that….

A guy is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door. When he opens the door, he encounters two sheriff’s deputies, one of whom asks if he is married and, if so, whether the deputy can see a picture of the wife. The guy says “sure” and shows him a…

Having been burgled in the past, we turned on a ‘night light’ and the answering machine, then put the cat in the backyard. When our cab arrived, we walked out our front door and our rather tubby cat scooted between our legs inside, then ran up the stairs. Because our cat likes to chase our…

A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: “Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving…

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.”…

A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman. The General replied “1956, ma’am.” The woman, in disbelief, said “1956?! That long? Come with me and let me make your night better.” The woman and General went back to her apartment and made passionate love for over…