GOSSIP

The young fellow is about to marry and asks his grandfather how often a married couple should have s*x.His grandfather tells him, “When you first get married, you want it all the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week. As you get older, you have s*x maybe once a month….

For the past 20 years my wife has been complaining about me not putting the cap back on the toothpaste.Last anniversary, I decided to change this bad habit and make my wife happy. For a week, I was diligent, always capping the toothpaste. I was expecting my wife to thank me, but she never did…

A guy walks into a bar with a frog……and sits down to order a drink, setting his frog (in its cage) on the bar. A few seats away from him sits a beautiful, young woman. They’re the only two at the bar, so after awhile, with curiosity eating away at her, she asks, “So what’s…

A 3 month pregnant woman falls into a deep coma. 6 months later she awakes and asks the doctor about her baby. Doctor: Don’t worry. You had twins, a boy and a girl and your brother named them for you. Woman: Oh no, not my brother! He’s an idiot! What did he name them? Doctor:…

One night a guy goes to get a room in a hotel. “Hello, I want a single room for the night please.” “Fine, sir, here’s one of our best rooms. Room 13,” says the concierge and hands him the keyThe guy goes upstairs, takes a shower and gets straight into bed. At about 2 0’clock…

A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. One day she asked Little Johnny what his problem was so he replied, „I’m too smart for the first grade, my sister is in the third grade anf I’m smarter than her too.“ The teacher took him to the principal’s office and explained…

A man left for work one Friday afternoon.Instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending all his wages.When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife.After two hours, she stopped nagging and said, “How would you like it if you…

An attractive women visits the gynecologist. She tells the doctor ” This is quite awkward to admit but I have very unusual problem ” The gynecologist assures her ” I have been doing this for 20 years now there is nothing i havnt seen before “ The women lay down on the chair and opened…

My boss, who is a fit woman, caught me in the shower room after work.She said to me “Would you mind taking my blouse off?” I replied, “Certainly,” and took it off. Then she turned around and said, “Would you take my skirt off too?” So I removed that as well. Then she finally asked…

A 70 year old V!RG!N Nun goes to a gynecologist . Because she is experiencing some discomfort. When she explains what’s going on, the gynecologist runs some tests. Later he came back into the room and told the nun that her tests are positive for crabs. “That’s impossible, my body hasn’t been touched by anyone.”…