GOSSIP

A Computer Science student at MIT showed up at his buddies dorm room with a new bike. His buddy said “sweet bike, where’d ya get it?” “You’ll never believe this,” he said, “I was walking across campus and this beautiful blonde on a bike stopped, threw down her bike, tore off all her clothes and…

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have…

A drunk blonde woman was sitting at a bar says to the barman, “Barfender, I’d like a marhini for my heartburn.” The barman mixes her drink and puts in down in front of her. A few minutes later, she calls him over and says, “Barfender, I’d like a marhini for my heartburn.” He rolls his…

A wife asks her husband, “Honey, if I died, would you remarry?” “After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship.” “If I died and you remarried,” the wife asks, “would she live in this house?” “We’ve spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want…

A pregnant woman boards a bus. After taking a seat, she notices a man smiling at her. She feels self-conscious and changes her seat, but he seems even more amused. She moves a third time, and he starts to giggle. On her fourth move, he bursts out laughing. They both get off the bus at…

3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what i discovered.” intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. ” i found a phone in the priests room.” said the first nun. “oh thats nothing said the second one, i found condoms in one of his drawers.” said the second…

I was in a bar in England, having a beer. Two plump women walked in with an accent I hadn’t yet heard during my tenure. “Hi ladies, are ye from Scotland?” I asked. One of the women turned towards me and snarled “It’s Wales, dumb\*\*!” “Oh, I’m really sorry!” I said. “Are you whales from…

A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says “Okay I’d like you to point to wherever it hurts”. So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says “Here. Ow.” She then pokes her arm and says “Here. Ow.” She then repeats…

Teacher and her 3 boy students: Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your br@.” Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.” Boy 2 laughed… Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy 2: “I saw your br@ straps.” Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of…

A man walks into a bar. Upon sitting down a busty blond waitress pours him a drink and asks if he would like some food. He looks up at the menu above the bar it says: Hot dog – $2/ Cheeseburger – $5 / Hand job – $10 .He asks the waitress, “Miss are you…