GOSSIP

A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse on the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns…

A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak…. He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, and discharged… shooting him in the genitals. Several hours later, lying in a hospital…

An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants and raised her legs. The dentist said: “Excuse me; I ‘m not a gynecologist.” “I know,” said the old lady. “I want you to take my husband’s teeth out.”

A man walks into a bar with his iphone… He suddenly realizes he needs to fart. He logs into Itunes and ups the volume thinking ‘the music is loud no one will hear’ So he farts… When he looks around, everyone’s staring at him Then he realizes… He was listening to his iphone with headphones.

A woman joins a country club and when she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, “I played on my college’s golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?” No one wants to say ‘yes’, but they’re on the spot… Finally, one man says, “Okay, but we…

This one will perhaps only be good for your more advanced students. A piece of string walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman refuses to serve him saying rudely, ‘Sorry but we don’t serve the likes of you. Get out!’ The piece of string leaves the bar feeling glum, he walks…

A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy. The fairy says “I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else’s job for a day.” The professor says “I’ll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch…

Two hot young ladies are talking one afternoon about the weekend just past. The first named Faba, and the second, Mujo, discussed Faba’s last date. “You know what Mujo, I was out last night with an intellectual type” Faba declared. “What’s that? What’s do you mean intellectual type?” Mujo asked with curiosity. “Well, I mean…

Three brothers each marry a woman. The first one married a woman from Minneapolis, and said to her: “When I get back from work, I want the house to be clean and tidy. He didn’t see any changes on the first day, but on the second day the house was clean and tidy. The second…

A new blonde hostess began her first day. The route they were flying required that they make a stop in another city for the night. Soon after their arrival the captain showed all the flight attendants to their rooms. The next morning the pilot was preparing everyone to leave, and he noticed his new flight…