GOSSIP

Three sophisticated southern women sit together at a country club, Eliza, Josephine, and Isabelle. Eliza says to the other two, “You know girls, my husband bought me the most wonderful jewelry for our anniversary. A lavish diamond necklace and some beautiful earrings.” “How wonderful!” Josephine says. Isabelle responds, “That’s nice, real nice.” Josephine then says…

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad’s farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.” The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not ‘fascinating’.” Sally…

Wife is busy packing her clothes. Man: And where are you going? Wife: I’m moving to my mother. Husband also starts packing. Wife: And where do you think your going? Husband: I’m also moving to my mother. Wife: And what about the kids? Husband: Well if you are moving to your mother and I’m moving…

A husband and wife were getting frisky in bed, and the husband suggested they try a new position. He said, “Let’s do the airplane!” The wife was intrigued, so the husband explained, “I lie on top of you and make airplane noises while we fly around the room.” The wife agreed to try it, and…

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.” She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my…

Jong walks into a school in North Korea. He asks a student “Who is your father? The student replies “The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father.” Jong beams. “Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?” The student doesn’t hesitate. “The Land of…

A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it, and to return the next day to tell their stories. In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example first, “My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One day we…

A priest is driving his car down a sunny country road when he sees a nun waiting at a bus stop. He pulls over and offers her a lift. The young nun thanks him, puts her luggage in the trunk, and sits down in the passenger seat next to the priest. As they set off,…

A little boy asks his mother, “Mom, is it possible to eat electricity?” The mother says: ‘What? Where did you hear that? The boy replied: “Yesterday I heard Dad say to you, ‘Turn off the light and put it in your mouth.’

A very ‘straight and honest’ girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice: “Daughter, when you’re in Town and if you’re looking for a match there, you must take note of the following the requirements mother set for you. You must find a man that is faithful’, ‘thrifty’ and…