GOSSIP

A guy suffering from a miserable cold begs his doctor for relief. The doctor prescribes pills. But after a week, the guy’s still sick. So the doctor gives him a shot. But that doesn’t help his condition either. “Okay, this is what I want you to do,” says the doctor on the guy’s third visit….

One Sunday, Pastor Goodwill told the congregation that the church needed some extra money. He asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate and said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns. After the offering plates were passed, Pastor Goodwill glanced down and noticed…

An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communication with a small twin engine aircraft. A moment later the tower landline rang and was answered by one of the employees. It was the passenger riding with the pilot who lost communication and was calling on a cellular phone. He yelled, “Mayday, mayday! The pilot had an…

A guy is at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafing through the big book to see if the guy is worthy of entering. Saint Peter goes through the book several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, “You know, I can’t see that you did anything really…

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and tripped over a large snake and fell, kerplop right on his twitchy little nose. “Oh please excuse me,” said the bunny. I didn’t mean to trip over you, but I’m blind and can’t see.” “That’s perfectly all right,” replied the snake. “To be…

Sarah, a very smart little girl, sits in class. The teacher says, “Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?” Sarah waves her hand, “Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!” Miss Rogers says, “All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?” Sarah says, “Mas-tur-bate.” Miss Rogers…

A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. Mid-flight the boy turned from the window to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?” The mother said, “Well, maybe that’s something you could…

A woman goes into a store to buy a fishing rod and reel. She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a store employee standing there with dark shades on. She says, “Excuse me sir… can you tell me anything about this rod…

A couple, both age 78, went to a s*x therapist’s office. The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?” The man said, “Will you watch us have s*x?” The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished the doctor said, “There’s nothing wrong with the way you have s*x,” and charged them $50….

A little girl and her brother are whispering to each other. A moment later, the little boy gets up and walks over to his Grandpa and says, “Grandpa, please make a frog noise.” Grandpa says, “No.” The little boy goes on, “Please… please make a frog noise.” Grandpa says, “No, now go play.” The little…