GOSSIP

Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing. “We’re supposed to find the height of this flagpole,” said Sven, “but we don’t have a ladder.” The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and…

A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with. Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘pen!s.’ Without blinking or saying…

A man in an airport lounge hits on a beautiful young woman A man is alone in an airport lounge. A beautiful young woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him. He decides that because she’s wearing a uniform, she’s probably an off-duty Flight Attendant. So he decides to have a…

A woman has an appointment with her gynecologist, but oversleeps and wakes up 30 minutes before her morning appointment. She has to drop her daughter at school first, so she runs to the bathroom and quickly wipes her neither regions with a flannel lying on the side of the bath and runs out the door….

A bodybuilder takes off his shirt and starts flexing in front of a blonde woman. She exclaims… “Wow, what a great chest you have!” “He says, “Solid dynamite, babe.” He then takes off his pants and the blonde says, “Wow, what massive calves you have!” He flexes his leg muscles and says, “Like I said,…

A young woman visits a florist to get some flowers for her mother. As she’s perusing, she notices the most gorgeous rose she’s ever seen sitting next to the cashier, and asks for its price.”Oh, sorry,” the cashier replies. “That one’s not for sale. I got that as a gift from a fellow florist for…

A man scores a hot date Not wanting to disappoint his date in the bedroom, he goes to the doctor to get his tool enlarged. The doctor says, “we have a new experimental procedure that uses muscle cells from an elephant trunk that should do the trick.” To which the man accepts. Later on, the…

Every spring, as soon as the snows thawed, a certain mountain woman would come down into town, have a baby and gather supplies for the summer. After a few years of this, she looked despairingly at the doctor and said, “Doctor, I don’t know how much more of this I can handle. We got us…

One night after a date, a guy takes his 19 year old girlfriend home. After kissing each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, “Babe, do you want to, you…

While reading an article about fathers and sons drinking together, I realized that after all this time, I had never taken my son out for a drink. So off we went to our local bar, which was only two blocks from the house. I got him a Budweiser. He didn’t like it, so I drank…