GOSSIP

Husband always insisted on making love in the dark. After 20 years of this his wife turns on the light and finds him holding a vibrator. She goes ballistic, “You impotent bastard! How could you lie to me all these years?” Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, “I’ll explain the toy,…

A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face. His best man asks, “Why do you look so excited?” The groom replies, “I just had the best bl*w j*b I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me.” The bride…

One day, a man decides he wants to host a costume party. He decides that he wants an emotion-themed party, so he sends out all his invitations, telling his guests to dress as their favorite emotions. On the night of the party, his doorbell rings, and he opens the door to find his friend dressed…

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his pants and washes his hands. The girl watches him and says, “You…

When the Pope was visiting America, he told the driver of his limo that he had the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man and would not ever dream of questioning the Pope’s authority. So the Pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back. They were travelling…

There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don’t forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her…

A famous American golfer is invited to go to China for a golfing tournament. From the second he gets there, he is treated like a king. He is given five-star treatment in a five-star hotel until the day of the tournament. The night before the tournament, he is sitting in his hotel room watching TV….

Dear Wife: I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good…!!! I’ve been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and…

A lorry driver is driving 200 penguins to London Zoo when his lorry breaks down on the motorway. The driver gets out of the cab and is looking at the engine when a second lorry driver stops in front of him and asks if he needs help. The penguins’ driver explains that he is taking…

A wife from Montana had an appointment with her doctor to ask for advice on how to treat her husband’s lack of s*x drive. “Have you tried Vi@gr@?” the doctor asked. “Not a chance,” the lady replied, “He doesn’t even take aspirin.” “Not a problem,” the doctor replied, “Just give him some Montana Vi@gr@.” “What’s…