A girl in college calls her father after having s*x for the first time. She says, “Dad, I have a confession to make. I ain’t a v!rgin anymore.” Hearing this, the dad gets furious and shouts, “I work my @ss off to get you into one of the best universities in the state, and you…

A soldier returns home to his wife after a year-long deployment overseas. He wants to show her how he managed to go a year without having s*x with anybody else. “So how did you do it?” she asks. “I trained my d*ck to respond to drill commands like so.” He undoes his belt and drops…

“Go to this small town in Ireland, find our agent named O’Malley and say the following to him: ‘the shadows of the moon are getting dark.’ He’ll reply ‘but the sun will guarantee the light.’ When he says that, give him the package and head home.” So the agent goes to the small Irish town…

I asked my masseuse if it was normal to get an Ere*ti0n during my massage He said it was perfectly normal. I said, “Ok, but could you at least stop bumping it into me?”

A lady walks into a store and asks where the XL c*nd*ms are kept. The manager sends her off to the family planning section. After ten minutes, the manager takes routine a walk around the store, to check on things. He finds the lady still in the family planning section, humming to herself, just looking…

A tired man arrives home after attending his son’s wedding, proud that his son remained chaste until marriage. Take a shower. And he is almost asleep when his phone rings… “Dad?”, asks his son on the phone. “I’m on my honeymoon, and I don’t know how to have s*x. Can you explain it to me?”…