Before the bartender even returns with the check, the man has slammed back half of them and shows no signs of slowing down. As the guy finishes his final shot, the bartender asks, “Why are you drinking so fast?” The guy wipes his mouth and replies, “You’d be drinking fast, too, if you had what I have.” The bartender asks, “What do you have?” As he runs out the door, the guy says, “75 cents.”