The pilot comes on over the intercom and says “Folks, we’re pleased to have you flying with us on our brand new 737, fresh from our good friends at Boeing!” Immediately, the Boeing employees all scramble to get out of their seats and off the plane as quickly as possible. It’s utter pandemonium in the…

A woman is having s*x with a rather large man in the back of a car, when suddenly the man has a heart attack. The woman tried to get the man off of her, but he’s too heavy. Luckily, the woman is able to call 911 with her cell phone. When the emergency services come,…

A boy meets a girl for a date The boy said: “I wanted to get you flowers, but when I got to the flower shop, a girl was blocking the door! She was dressed like a pr0st1tute, and was murmuring something, I think it was numbers! I didn’t want to deal with her, so I…

The first one starts. “My little boy is a really succesfull doctor. He and his girlfriend will go on a 1 month vacation in Europe next week.” The second mother goes: “Thats nothing. My boy is a succesfull lawyer and just bought his girlfriend a new Aston Martin.” The third mother goes: ” Thats still…

Policeman: Why did you kill 88 people? What the hell was wrong with you? Driver: I was driving at 100km/h when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a wedding party. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realized they were not working. So I had to take a…

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she’ll see him later and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, “Who the hell was that?” “Oh,” replies the husband, “she’s my…

Trendy companies these days hire a diversity officer, which is always a woman. Because it is cheaper.

A traveling salesman is driving past a farmhouse when he sees a pig with a wooden leg. This piques his curiosity, so he goes to the house and knocks on the door. The farmer answers. “What’s the story with the pig with the wooden leg?” asks the salesman. “Let me tell you about that pig,”…

A man comes to the doctor and asks for the test results of his wife. “I’m afraid” says the doc “we may have swapped her results. So I can’t tell if she either has Alzheimer’s or Aids.” “That’s terrible” says the man. “What should I do now?” Scratching his chin the doc answers “You should…

A man finds a genie lamp, rubs it and poof a Genie appears. Genie: I have the power to grant you 3 wishes but keep in mind, whatever you wish, your mother-in-law will receive two-fold… Man: Ok. My first wish is for 1 billion dollars. Genie: Your wish is granted, but keep in mind that…