A couple take in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn’t have a bath but if she wanted to she could use a tin bath in front of the fire……. “Monday’s the best night, when my husband goes…

A man wakes up on a Friday morning, looks over at his wife and says “wife, wake up, were going camping” His wife rolls over and sits up in bed and says “Honey, you know I don’t like bugs or being outside, I’m not going camping. “Well” the man says, “I’ll give you three choices,…

The judge looks sternly at the ex wife. Judge: “why do you think you deserve custody of the child?” Ex wife: “I brought him into this world so I should have custody of him” Judge: “that is a simple yet good reason.” Then the judge looks towards the Ex husband. Judge: “why do you think…

A cowboy is captured by indians. The chief tells the cowboy they’ll grant 3 requests before they scalp him. The cowboy thinks a minute then says, ” I wish to say goodbye to my horse then to set him free.” So they bring him his horse, he whispers in its ear then sets him off…

A snooker player just won a tournament and met a beautiful lady at the after party. They have a few drinks and go back to his hotel room. Things get hot and heavy real fast. She is aching for him, and says “Take me from behind. Have your way with me” and lays on the…

I just got fired from my job as a massage therapist My boss said I rub people the wrong way.

Exhausted from the wild s*x, they fell asleep, awakening around 8pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told his secretary to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home. “Where have you been?” demanded his wife when…

Little Jimmy ends up in the wardrobe with his mothers affair… “It’s dark in here” says little Jimmy. The guy manages not to scream in shock and after some time he makes a deal with Jimmy. For the price of a baseball, Jimmy won’t tell his dad about the guy in Mommys wardrobe when daddy…

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’ She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment…

Joe wanted to buy a Harley motorcycle. He doesn’t have much luck, until one day… …he comes across a Harley with a ‘for sale’ sign on it. The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It’s shiny and in mint condition. He buys it and asks the seller how…