Once there was a man who had an extremely small PEN!S and was forever unhappy about what he had been born with. One day, he was walking through town when he came upon a small store that said “True Magic and Wishes” on the sign. Looking like a rather strange and interesting shop, the man entered the store and walked up to the shopkeeper behind the counter.
“What do you mean by your sign, ‘True Magic and Wishes’?” he asked curiously.
“Well, you see, young man, we have many things that can make all your dreams come true in a single wish or spell,” the shopkeeper said. “Do you have something that you always wished for?” she asked.
The man, looking a bit embarrassed, finally said, “Yes, but you cannot laugh, okay? My PEN!S is very small, and I wish it to be very big. Can you help me?”
The shopkeeper smiled. “Do not be saddened by this, for I have just the thing for you.”
The man watched as the shopkeeper opened a drawer beneath the counter and pulled out a strange leather case. Opening the case, it revealed a gold ring with a mysterious red stone set in it.
“This will help you, but there will be a price,” the shopkeeper said.
The man thought about this and decided that if he was to have a big PEN!S, he would pay anything to have it. After settling on a price that satisfied both parties, the shopkeeper explained how to use the ring.
“It works quite simply. All you need to do is wear it like a normal ring and bump into people, then let them apologize. Once this happens, your PEN!S will grow a few inches each time,” the shopkeeper said.
The man thanked the shopkeeper, and as soon as he was out of the store and on the street, he couldn’t wait to try it. Slipping the ring on his finger, he found a little old lady walking his way. He purposely bumped into her, and she apologized. Slowly, he felt something strange happen to his PEN!S, and sure enough, it grew a few inches in his pants.
“I can’t believe it—it works like a charm!” the man thought.
Next, he bumped into a young man walking his dog. Sure enough, the young man apologized, and again, he felt his PEN!S grow a little more. The man was over the moon!
Finally, he saw an old Indian man walking his way and decided to try again. He bumped into him, and the old Indian man looked up at him, placed his hand on his shoulder in a gesture of respect, and said, “A thousand apologies, my good man.”