GOSSIP

Recruits got a shock when their Army basic-training instructor turned out to be an attractive female sergeant. Her assistant, however, was a burly, hawk-nosed veteran whose glare could freeze water. At the end of training, the attractive instructor congratulated the recruits and said that if there was anything she could do for us, just ask….

Two sperm swimming side by side were having a conversation. One sperm asked the other ‘‘how far till we reach the fallopian tubes?’’ The other replied, ‘‘Not sure but we just passed the esophagus.’’

A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while ‘the lights would turn off.’ Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun,the room…

A husband suspected his wife was cheating on him. He explained his situation to a pet shop owner who replied, “I have a parrot that will let you know daily what goes on in your house. The bird has no legs, so he holds onto his perch with his pen!s.” Reluctantly, the husband brought the…

A woman arrived at a party & while scanning the guests she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him smiled and said, “Hello. My name is Carmen.” “That’s a beautiful name,” he replied. “Is it a family name?” “No,” she replied. “As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents…

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.” She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?” A man stands…

A wife and husband are having money issues. One day they decide to have the wife work the corner. Later that night the husband goes to pick the wife up. He asks, “How much did you make, sweetie?” She answers, “I made $200.50.” The husband says, “What asshole gave you 50 cents?”

A man and a woman were having drinks at a business conference when they got into an argument about who enjoyed bed time more. The man said, “Men obviously enjoy bed time more than women. Why do you think we’re so obsessed with getting laid?” “That doesn’t prove anything,” the woman countered. “Think about this:…

Little Johnny asks his mother, “Mom, what are those things on your chest!?” as they are both taking showers. Unsure of how to respond, she advises Johnny to bring up the subject with his father at breakfast the next day, confident that it will be forgotten. Johnny wasn’t negligent. He posed the same query to…