GOSSIP

I fear I’ve wasted my life. I spent years and years learning Latin, Spanish, Mandarin, and Swahili but it turns out I just misheard my uncle when I though he told me “girls love a cunning linguist”.

The doctor says “What? Why would I do something like that?” The woman says again, “Kiss me now!” The doctor replies, “Certainly not!” The woman demands a third time, “Doctor, I want you to kiss me!” The doctor answers, “No! It’s unprofessional, highly unethical, and to be honest we probably shouldn’t even be having s-x…

How did you die?” Jane asks Erica. She replies, “I froze to death.” “Oh, that’s terrible!” says Jane. “It wasn’t too bad, after a while you start to get a sort of peaceful feeling, just before you black out. How did you die?” “Well,” she says, “I suspected my husband was cheating so one day…

A lovey dovey couple are sitting on a bench in the park and she says: “My ear hurts me…” He kisses it gently and asks, “Is it better now, my darling?” “It’s all gone,” giggles the girl, “but now I have a pain here,” and she points to her neck. The boy kisses it tenderly…

One day a teacher was asking her class to use absolutely in a sentence. So Janet raised her hand and said, “the sky is absolutely blue” The teacher said no, “it is not, sometimes is black or has different colors.” Another little boy raised his hand and said, “the leaves on the trees are absolutely…

The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her full lips, she sank into the comfort of the plush chair in the corner. The handsome stranger turned, having sensed her approach. Locking his steely grey eyes on hers, he moved slowly toward her, his experienced gaze measuring her, hypnotizing her with his…

A man walks in his room after work and is surprised to find his wife lying undressed on the bed. After careful examination he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a undressed man standing there… ‘Who the hell are you?’ he yells….

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon’s activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub…

A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with. Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘p*n1s.’ Without blinking or saying…

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. “Nurse,”‘ he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?” Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to…