GOSSIP

One evening, a man gave his tipsy secretary a ride home after an office party. His wife was prone to jealousy, so he didn’t mention the incident to her. Later in the evening, he was driving his wife to a restaurant when he noticed a stiletto-heeled shoe half-hidden under the passenger seat. Gripped with terror,…

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perked up and said, “How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!” “What a coincidence” the farmer said. “This is a special day for me, I am celebrating.” “This is a…

Lisa has a check-up with a new gynecologist. The doctor notices that his new patient is nervous. While putting on the latex gloves, he wants to put Lisa at ease and asks her if she knows how latex gloves are made. Lisa says no. The doctor says, “There is a plant in Mexico full of…

The teacher asked all the students to write an essay on the subject My Pet. The next day she started checking the homework of everyone. After checking Little Johnny’s essay teacher asked him, “Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister’s.” Did you copy hers? she asked. Johnny replied, “No,…

Wanda’s dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check.” “Oh, by the way, don’t worry about my bulldog. He…

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge… “I should be in charge,” said the brain , “Because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen.” “I should be in charge,” said the blood , “Because I circulate oxygen all…

Jim was annoyed when his blonde wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a fender, and that she hadn’t gotten the license number. “What kind of car was he driving?” he asked. “I don’t know,” she said. “I never can tell one car from another.” At that, Jim decided the time…

A farmer and his wife were laying in bed one night. The farmer feeling a little frisky, reaches over and gives his wife’s melons a little feel and says, “Mother, if this could give milk, we could get rid of the cow.” His hand then travels down to her crotch, and he says, “Mother, if…

Little Johnny is sitting in class, the teacher is going over vocabulary words. She asks the class to use a word in a sentence. The teacher says the word is “contagious”. Johnny is waving his arm up and down, no other students have their arm up. The teacher figures there is no way Johnny can…