GOSSIP

A guy got chatting to a hot girl in a club. “Can I buy you a drink?” he asked. “Have you not got a girlfriend?” she replied. “Guys like you always have girlfriends.” He looked downcast, “No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago.” “Oh I’m sorry to hear that,” she said. “Alright…

The husband leans over and asks his wife, “Do you remember the first time we had s*x together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.” Yes, she says, “I remember it well.” OK, he says, “How about taking a…

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, “Do you know him?” “Yes”, she sighed, “He’s my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after…

A man comes home, finds his wife in bed with another man, and asks, “What is this?!?” The wife turns to her lover and says, “See, I told you he was stupid!”

Ted comes home blackout drunk, as he does most nights. With his eyes barely open, he misses his friend Carl in bed with his wife. He lies down and instantly passes out. Carl panics and quickly sneaks out of the house and makes his way home, hoping that Ted won’t remember anything in the morning….

Johnny wanted to have make love with a girl in his office. But she belonged to someone else… One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, “I’ll give you a 100 if you let me have lovemaking with you.” But the girl said, “NO.” Johnny said, “I’ll be fast….

A blonde guy was sitting in a bar when he spots a very pretty young woman. He advances towards her when the bartender says to him, “Don’t waste your time on that one. She’s a lesbi@n.” The blonde goes over to her anyway and says, “So which part of Lesbi@n are you from?”

A guy walks in the local br*thel, says, “I want the cheapest one you got, I don’t have much money.” The guy behind the counter says “How bout the $1.95 cent special?” The customer says “OK”, and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out,…

One day a father and his ten-year-old son were on the bus, when the boy noticed a redhead with huge fronts. “Hey Pop,” the son cried, “look at those melons!” The father, a religious man proceeded to send the boy to an all male military academy, in the hope that he would get some manners….

Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat. Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, ‘Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!’ The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.