GOSSIP

As a preteen, all I wanted was a girlfriend with big t*ts. When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big t*ts, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an…

One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?” The husband says, “What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?” A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey,…

One day three couples in a minivan are heading to Yellowstone National Park on a vacation. One couple is from Nebraska, one is from Kansas, and one is from Iowa. They stop at a little cafe on the side of the road for breakfast. Their waitress serves them their food, and the husband from Nebraska…

A man finds a genie lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie comes out and says “I may grant you 3 wishes, but your wife gets double.” The man wishes for a new car. The genie gives him a new car and the man’s wife 2 new cars. The man then wishes for a…

So this blonde goes to the Doctor for a checkup so doc starts asking her: Age? She starts counting using her fingers, says 22 ! Height? She sees a measuring type of about 5 meters, takes it barely gets to measuring and says 1.75 Then the Doc says, ok could I have your FIRSt name…

One mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, “Momma, why is my name Rose?” The mommy cow replies, “Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born.” The next calf comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Lily?” The mother…

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, “I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!” The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he’s…

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. “Of course, my son,” said the priest. “Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my…

I bumped into an old school friend at the store today. He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports cars. Then he pulled out his phone and showed me a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” I replied, “If you think she’s gorgeous, you should see…

One night a girl said to her family “Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said “Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said…