Category: Funny Jokes

A woman went to store and asked for a maternity bra. “what bust?” asked the saleswoman. ” The fu*king c0nd0m” she replied.

A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed. “If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?” he asked. “Yes!” said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on…

A little boy looks at his mum at a wedding and says, “Mummy, why is the girl dressed all in white?” His mum answers, “The girls is called a bride and she is in white because she’s very happy and this is the happiest day of her life.” The boy nods and then says, “OK,…

They are seated and after browsing the menu they both decide to order the soup of the day. When the waiter brings their soup the man knocks his spoon on the floor. “Whoops,” he says and turns to the waiter, “I’m terribly sorry but could I have another…” The waiter whips a fresh spoon out…

When The Bride Is Not Afraid to See Her Husband’s D*ck. It was the first night for a newlywed couple. The bride was still a v@rg@n because she heard how much s+x can hurt if a man has a large d*ck. To make his bride feel at ease, the groom said to her, “OK, I…

A woman slips n@ked in her bathroom, does the splits & ends up suctioned to the floor by her fanny. Her husband tries but can’t budge her so calls his mate who says: “I’ll go get a hammer, we can break the tiles and lift her.” The husband says: “OK. I’ll lick her ear &…

A pastor was enraged when he found a bill for a $250 dress in his wife’s purse. “How could you do this?” the pastor cried. “You know we’re on an incredibly tight budget!” “I know,” the woman said, “but the devil himself was shopping with me. He convinced me the dress looked so good I…

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man…

A married couple were doing their bedtime routine. The man got into the bed and started reading a newspaper, while his wife was standing in front of the mirror, looking at her n@ked body. “Honey, I’m getting old. I have wrinkles in my face, my b==bs are sagging, my thighs are getting big and my…

A priest and nun spend the night together .A priest and a nun are on their way back from the seminary when their car breaks down. The garage doesn’t open until morning so they have to spend the night in a B&B. It only has one room available. The priest says: “Sister, I don’t think…