A girl tells her mother after school ‘Mum, I got a gold star today for reciting the whole alphabet! The rest of my class only knows 3 or 4 letters! ‘Well done darling’ the girl’s mother replies.. ‘That’s because you’re blonde.’ After returning from school the next day the girl tells her mother‘I am the…

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, “Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?” She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes.” Eventually the lady asks, “Aren’t you gonna bite them?” He replies,…

A boss said to his secretary, “I want to have S*X with you I will make it very fast. I’ll throw $1000 on the floor, by the timeyou bend down to pick it I’ll be done. ” She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said…

then turns to leave.The owner says, “You’re all the same, thinking there’s nothing above this material plane of existence. Watch this.” The businessman turns around. “Voodoo D*ldo, keyhole”To his astonishment, the businessman saw the box violently shake and the D*ldo rises in the air, floats for a second and hover over to the keyhole in…

A husband buys a dozen of VS panties of the same pattern and color to his wife Wife: “oh god, now people will think that I never change my panties “ Husband ” which people?”

Doctor Cohen comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now, you probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything, however your p*nis was severed in the accident and we couldn’t find it. ” The man, Max, groans,…

A young Caucasian decided to visit a h**ker when he visited Thailand. A week later upon returning to the States he developed severe urinary pain. This was followed by purulent discharge and blistering of his p*nis. Anxiously worried he visited a physician who told him, “You have contracted a rare STD that unfortunately necessitates amputation…

Dr. Mike had s*x with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn’t. The guilt and sense of betrayal were overwhelming. But every once in a while he’d hear an internal, reassuring in his head that said: “Mike, don’t worry…

A man goes to a Doctor’s Office about his p*nisA man walks gingerly into the office where he is met by a nurse with whom he speaks to “Err, nurse? Excuse me, this isn’t easy for me to say, but you have to promise you won’t laugh”“Well, sir, on my honour as a nurse and…

Bloke in hospital with 60% burns, Dr. says, “Give him two Viagra.” The nurse asks, “Do you think that will help?” Dr replies, “No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!”