Guy walks in a bar with a black eye and sits down. The barman says “That looks nasty, what happened”? The man says” My wife complained that we don’t make love like they do in the movies, so I ripped her clothes off and bent her over the sink. Then I fu*ked her hard while…

A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large c*ndoms. He replies, “Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?” She responds,… “No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?”

She sexily unbuttons her shirt, removes her bra,pushes him down and placed hand on her bare chest.”$100. Just $100 and I’ll do anything you want.“His eyes glow bright:”Anything?” “Anything.” She into his ears. Excited, he springs up, pulls out his wallet, gives her 5 brand new $20 bills, and says: “Here is $100!Now give me…

A blonde was walking down the street.A policeman was walking the opposite way.“Hmmm,” he wondered, “It looks as if that lady’sright br*ast is hanging out of her shirt.” As he got closer, he realized it was. He approached her.He said, “Ma’am, do you understand your right breastis hanging out of your shirt? ” She replied,…

A girl tells her mother after school ‘Mum, I got a gold star today for reciting the whole alphabet! The rest of my class only knows 3 or 4 letters! ‘Well done darling’ the girl’s mother replies.. ‘That’s because you’re blonde.’ After returning from school the next day the girl tells her mother‘I am the…

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, “Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?” She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes.” Eventually the lady asks, “Aren’t you gonna bite them?” He replies,…

A boss said to his secretary, “I want to have S*X with you I will make it very fast. I’ll throw $1000 on the floor, by the timeyou bend down to pick it I’ll be done. ” She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said…

then turns to leave.The owner says, “You’re all the same, thinking there’s nothing above this material plane of existence. Watch this.” The businessman turns around. “Voodoo D*ldo, keyhole”To his astonishment, the businessman saw the box violently shake and the D*ldo rises in the air, floats for a second and hover over to the keyhole in…

A husband buys a dozen of VS panties of the same pattern and color to his wife Wife: “oh god, now people will think that I never change my panties “ Husband ” which people?”

Doctor Cohen comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now, you probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything, however your p*nis was severed in the accident and we couldn’t find it. ” The man, Max, groans,…