YOUR LIFESTYLE MAGZINE
A young blonde girl from California in her late teens, who moved to Texas, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a “handy woman” and started canvassing a nearby up scale neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if…
The father says to the receptionist: „I hope the p0rn is disabled!“ Receptionist replies: „No, it’s just regular p0rn you sick fu*k!“
A teacher asks her class for some examples of medicines they know Little Harry promptly raises his hands and says, “Tylenol! For headaches!” The teacher says, “Very good, Harry, anyone else?” Little Jenny answers from the back, “Um, Ambien, my Mom tells me it helps her sleep…?” The teacher smiles at her and says, “Good…
One day Jimmy John went to into a br0thel on the west coast of Canada. He was greeted by a stunning hostess that politely asked how they can be of service. Jimmy, with his Newfoundland accent says: “ I would like to see Peggy Sue.” The hostess replies: “ok, she is just finishing up and…
The genie tells the man he will grant him a wish for setting him free. The man says “Ya know genie, I love riding motorcycles. Love it more than life itself. I would love to travel across the entire world on my motorcycle, but I’m terrified of boats. Can you make a massive highway, that…
A pr0st!tute says “Faster, faster!” A girlfriend says “More, more!” A wife says “Beige… I think I’ll paint the ceiling beige.”
“You see, it’s getting a bit crowded up here”, St Peter explains. “What kind of roommate will I get?” Steve asks. “A gentleman from 14th century Mexico.” “Medieval Mexico?!” Steve exclaims. “But I’m from 21st century Britain! We’ll have nothing in common!” “I’m sure you’ll find something to talk about if you try”, says St…
First the lieutenant says, “Having s*x is about 80% fun and 20% work.” Then captain replies, “No, there’s more work involved than that. I would say that it’s 60% fun and 40% work.” The major chimes in, “No, having s*x is definitely way more work than that. I would say that it’s 20% fun and…
Before the bartender even returns with the check, the man has slammed back half of them and shows no signs of slowing down. As the guy finishes his final shot, the bartender asks, “Why are you drinking so fast?” The guy wipes his mouth and replies, “You’d be drinking fast, too, if you had what…
My wife minored in psychology. She’s always using all her amateur psychology when we argue. Husband;When I fired the pool boy, she said, “Well, you know, you’re only firing him because he’s so young and good looking, and you feel threatened and insecure, because it reminds you of your own mortality, and you’re projecting all…