YOUR LIFESTYLE MAGZINE
A newly opened bar has a sign outside, beer for only $3 A man sees the sign, walks into the bar and orders a beer. After finishing the beer, the man takes out three $1 coins from his pocket, and feeling a bit mischievous, gets up from his seat, walks to one end of the…
Two blonds were walking through the woods They came across a set of tracks.Blond#1 says: Those are moose tracksBlond#2 says: Those are deer tracks As they were arguing the train hit them.
A teenager brings her new boyfriendhome to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings. Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’tseem to be a very nice boy.”“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing500 hours of community service?”
A toothless guy goes to the dentist to finally get some dentures. After several appointments he finally has a beautiful new set of teeth. But only a few months later, he’s back at the dentist saying there’s a problem. The dentist looks and his mouth and is shocked: both plates are so corroded the damage…
In Brazil, there’s a legend about a guy from Pernambuco (a brazilian state) famous for two things. First, he’s the biggest patriot of his land, fiercely proud of its culture and flag. The second reason is his gigantic pen!s. So grand, in fact, that he decided to tattoo a message along the hefty shaft of…
There once was a mad scientist who lived atop the highest mountain in the land. His ambition was to make a perfect clone of himself, artificially aged to resemble him exactly. He succeeding in this, but when his newly-made twin stepped out of the cloning chamber the mad scientist discovered his fatal flaw. He made…
An American politician hits the road to advocate for his campaign.He visits a rural town and speaks to the townsfolk to learn how he can appeal to the people. A citizen steps forward and says “we have a hospital with a plethora of medical facilities but we don’t have any doctors or nurses to work…
Two kids were arguing on the playground at recess. “My father is better than your father!” “No, he’s not!” “My brother’s better than your brother!” “No, he’s not!” “My mother is better than your mother” A pause. “Well, you got me there, my father says the same thing.”
Two friends meet after a long time…. Man: two year ago, my brother ran for Congress. Friend: What does he do now? Man: Nothing — he got elected!
A sophisticated, well-dressed woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs. She looks around, spots a beautiful rug, and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed. Unfortunately, standing right…