Two friends, Jom and Terry, are on a road trip to Portland, Oregon, when their car breaks down. Along the way, on a long dusty stretch of nowhere in the midwest, the radiator gives out. It’s an old beater anyway, and probably had only a couple years of life left. But Jom decides that they…

So four engineers are in a car when it breaks down. The electrical engineer says “I’ve seen this a thousand times, we just need to replace the alternator” The mechanical engineer says “No, I’ve seen this ten-thousand times, the fan-belt is worn out” A civil engineer chirps in “Sorry boys, I’ve seen this a hundred…

The sugar cane season is over and Thibodeaux and Boudreaux are out of jobs. So they go to the unemployment office. Boudreaux goes first. The lady behind the desk asks him what skills he has so Boudreaux says, “I pilot.” The lady says, “Wonderful. We have lots of openings for pilots. That skillset is in…

So he calls his rabbi friend and asks if he would handle his parish for a month. The rabbi replies “I guess. I can definitely handle the sermons as I’ll just preach from the old testament but I wouldn’t have a clue what to do with the confessional.” “Confessions are easy,” the priest says. “Just…

A guy works a new job for a week. On Monday he calls in and says, “I can’t come in today, I’m sick.” He works the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, “I can’t come in today, I’m sick.” The boss asks the foreman about the new guy…

Kathleen tells her Catholic mother she’s divorcing her husband The surprised mother says “why in the world are you divorcing Kenneth? He’s handsome, he’s rich, he’s Catholic. What in the world could be so bad?” Kathleen replies “well this is embarassing but since you asked I’ll tell you. Kenneth will only have @n@l s*x. He…

An older husband and his trophy wife are on a hike when the sun starts to go down. Husband: Don’t you think we should turn back? Wife: Don’t worry I have a flashlight. Just a little further. It starts to get darker as they enter an isolated swampy part of woods with gnarled trees and…

I told him I was short sighted. He took me outside and pointed up at the sun. What’s that? I said “it’s the sun”. “How far away is that?” I said “93 million miles”. “How far do you want to see?”

I walked into a rural pub in outback Australia, somewhere in Far North Queensland, and took my place at the bar next to an old timer who had a truly magnificent beard. After a few cold ones, a bit of chat about the local area and the cattle station he worked at, I said to…

He wants a loan, but the loan officer, Patty Mack, is unsure. “Do you have any collateral?”, she asks. The dog gives her a hummel. She doesn’t understand, so she approaches the manager. “Sir, there’s this dog here, and he wants a loan, but all he’s got is this.” and shows him the Hummel. “I…