My pen1s made it into the Guinness Book of World Records! Librarian told me to take it out though

Up in the hill country, Jethro and Daisy Mae get hitched and go off to Niagara Falls for a week-long honeymoon. But just two days latter, Jethro comes through the door of his father’s house in a lather. His Pappy asks him, “Boy, why you home so early? You got another 5 days on your…

So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father…

An American, a Russian, and a Ukrainian were sitting together on a train. Wanting to impress the others, the American pulls out a gun and throws it out the window. “What are you doing!?” The others exclaimed. “Aw, “ says the American, “we’ve got so many guns in America that I didn’t really need that…

Two babies are next to eachother in the nursing ward of the hospital One proudly says to the other: “I am a boy!” The other one says: “I don’t believe you, you have to show me!” The first one says: “Fine, just wait until the nurse leaves the room” When finally the nurse leaves the…

Your wife will always blow your bonus.

A couple take in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn’t have a bath but if she wanted to she could use a tin bath in front of the fire……. “Monday’s the best night, when my husband goes…

A man wakes up on a Friday morning, looks over at his wife and says “wife, wake up, were going camping” His wife rolls over and sits up in bed and says “Honey, you know I don’t like bugs or being outside, I’m not going camping. “Well” the man says, “I’ll give you three choices,…

The judge looks sternly at the ex wife. Judge: “why do you think you deserve custody of the child?” Ex wife: “I brought him into this world so I should have custody of him” Judge: “that is a simple yet good reason.” Then the judge looks towards the Ex husband. Judge: “why do you think…

A cowboy is captured by indians. The chief tells the cowboy they’ll grant 3 requests before they scalp him. The cowboy thinks a minute then says, ” I wish to say goodbye to my horse then to set him free.” So they bring him his horse, he whispers in its ear then sets him off…