It’s a couples 25th anniversary.
He comes home to find his wife on the couch wearing crotchless p@nties. She spreads her legs open and says “You want some of this baby!” He said “Fu*k No, look what it did to your underwear!”
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She’s 32 but also that she has the body of a 16 year old..
In her tinder profile she said she’s 32 but also that she has the body of a 16 year old. But when I asked if I could see a photo she said I need to wait till tomorrow as she is n@ked and doesn’t want to go to the freezer in the basement when it’s…
I asked my masseuse…
I asked my masseuse if it was normal to get an Arection during my massage she said it was perfectly normal. I said, “Ok, but could you at least stop bumping it into me?”
My Wifes Cousin Sat Down in my Lap
I was with my wife at a family get together of her extended family. About 20 of us were in a large room sitting around talking when a 17 year old girl, my wife’s 2nd cousin, came in and started flirting with me. Long story short, she came and sat down in my lap “because…
SOCKS IN BRA
My friend thought I was lonely so he set me up on a blind date with a beautiful girl from his work. She had long dark hair. Amazing boobs that really complemented her hourglass waist and a peach of a booty. The date went amazing, we shared lots of different interests and got on really…
Putin and Local Farmer
Putin was traveling incognito in the Ukranian countryside and stopped to talk with a local farmer. “How big is your land” asked Putin. Farmer responded proudly “From here to that big oak tree in the near distance is one side of my land.” “Same square distance all around.” Farmer then asked Putin “How big is…
Tinder date arrived in the restaurant
When my Tinder date arrived in the restaurant, I guided her to her seat, and asked, “Shall I push your stool in?”… She said, “Let’s first see how this date goes.”
When the Man Reaches for some lube…
A couple are about to have s*x, when the man reaches for some lube… Opening a new bottle, he notices the protective tape on the cap has already been torn off, suggesting the bottle may have tampered with. That’s weird, he thinks to himself. “Do not use if seal is missing” it reads on the…
A married couple are having LOVE
A married couple are being int1m@te in the bedroom, when suddenly the wife groans in pain and looks up at her husband. “Honey… take off your ring before you finger me.” She says. He gives her a confused look and replies, “That’s not my ring, that’s my watch.”
A Couple Wants to Make Love But…
A couple wants to have s*x but their 8 year old son named Timmy is in the house. To get him out of the house, they give him an ice pop and they tell him to sit on the front porch and shout out everything that he sees while they try to pull a quickie….