A young Englishman was beset by an existential crisis. He didn’t know what to do with his life and struggled with terrible bouts of depression and anxiety. One day, he decided to travel to Vienna to see the eminent psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud. Upon arriving in Vienna, he ran as fast as he could to see…

A young handsome traveler is stumbling through the forest when he comes across a clearing with a tower in it. He is tired, thirsty, hungry, so he goes to knock on the tower door. An ancient looking old man answers the door. He offers the young man food, drink, and shelter for the night. When…

A CEO of a multinational corporation was flying across the Pacific and decided he had to go to the bathroom. So he got up and started walking down the aisle, but just as he passed the plane door it malfunctioned, opened and he was sucked out. Miraculously he survived landing in the water and saw…

A man dies of heart failure and his wife of 40+ years goes to the funeral home to make arrangements for his burial. After the funeral director had gone through the usual questions he asked the widow if she had any special requests pertaining to the burial. She replied, “I want him buried with his…

I was on a plane with my dad when the pilot announced, “Ladies and Gentlemen, we are 30,000 feet up in the air.” Dad: I think he’s lying. There’s no way there are 15,000 people on this flight.

Wife: “How would you describe me?” Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.” Wife: “What does that mean?” Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.” Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?” Husband: “I’m just kidding!”

Three men were talking about their teenage daughters: The first says “I was cleaning my daughter’s room the other day and found a packet of cigarettes. I didn’t even know she smoked”. The second says “That’s nothing. I was cleaning my daughter’s room the other day when I came across a full bottle of Vodka….

A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar. The nurse sits down at the bar and says, “I’ll have a Bloody Mary!” The doctor sits next to her and says, “Give me a rum and coke!” The anti-vaxxer does nothing. She collapsed and died from polio.

Her boss thought that she knew everything about the job, except for ONE THING: “Never laugh at a patient, no matter what.” “Of course I won’t laugh,” the nurse said. “I’m a professional nurse. In over twenty years I’ve never laughed at a patient.” Three days later, the hospital received a new patient that the…

After my accident, I woke up in hospital with a s*xy nurse standing over me.. She said “You may not feel anything from the waist down.” “Fair enough,” I replied and felt her breasts.