My wife was standing in the kitchen preparing our usual soft boiled egg and toast for breakfast she was wearing only the t-shirt that she normally slept in as I walked in almost awake she turned to me and said softly you’ve got to make love to me this very moment my eyes lit up…

girl baby I just got a tattoo of a seashell on my thigh can you hear the ocean pulls his head towards his thigh guy nope but I can smell the dead fish

four nuns are arguing about what they think a man’s peeka feels like and the Vicor overhears them he gets really upset and he says you are nuns you are not supposed to think about that then he gets an idea and he says but since you are such good loyal Servants of the Lord…

A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, “About 2 hours.” The guy left. A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, “How long before I can…

This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine. The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, ”Doctor, I haven’t had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband’s sex drive.” The doctor smiled and said, ”Have you tried to give…

the man was lying in bed with his wife  they were both tired after a long day and the   woman told him I think I’ll just read before bed  the man was a little disappointed but decided that   he would also start reading took his favorite  book and begin to read after after a while…

It was Christmas Eve, and a woman came home to her husband after a long day of shopping. That night, as she got ready for bed, he noticed a small mark on the inside of her leg. Curious, he asked, “What’s that?” With a sly smile, she said, “Oh, I went to a tattoo parlor…

The little girl looks down the little boy’s shorts. “What’s that?” she asks. “I dunno.” The little boy the looks down the little girl’s shorts. “Well what’s that?” “I dunno,” the little girl replies. So they go back to their separate homes, and the little girl goes to her mother. “Mommy, what’s this?” the little…

A man enters a bank and walks up to the clerk desk. “Good day to you sir, what can I help you with today?” Says the clerk. “I want to open a fucking account at this shitty bank.” Responds the man. “Excuse me?” Says the clerk lady. “You heard me, I want to open a…

A young woman with a baby in her arms entered the butcher shop and confronted the butcher with the news. that the baby was his and asked what he was going to do about it? He said, he’d offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed, the butcher had…