A man is leaving town for a business trip.
Knowing he’ll be gone for a few weeks, he decides to treat his wife to a new sex toy
to keep her satisfied until he returns.
However, looking around the local shop he doesn’t see anything that he thinks she’ll
like.
At this point the shop owner approaches and says, “if you’re having trouble deciding,
may I show you one of our special items?”.
“Sure!” says the man, thankfully
The owner takes out a box from behind the desk labelled “Voodoo Penis” and explains
that it’ll fit any hole, and do anything you need it to using “voodoo magic”.
The man is skeptical so he asks for a demonstration.
Happy to oblige, the owner says “Voodoo Penis, my hand!”.
At once, the previously inanimate phallus springs to life and starts moving back and
forth in the owners hand as if he were jerking it off.
“Voodoo Penis, the door!” he continues and points to the entrance.
The magic dildo flies to the door, shrinks to the size of the door’s keyhole and starts
going to town.
“Now,” cautions the owner, “this is the important part.
Once it starts, it won’t stop until it hears ‘Voodoo Penis, your box’!”.
On cue, the voodoo penis leave the door, changes back to its normal size and returns, dormant,
to the box.
The man is thrilled with this find and buys it for his wife.
When it comes time for him to leave, he gives her the new toy and demonstrates how it works
like the shop owner did.
The wife, very excited about the new toy, thanks her husband and wishes him well on
his trip.
About a week passes and the wife decides to try out the voodoo penis.
Removing it from the box she says “voodoo penis, my pussy!”.
Well the penis doesn’t hesitate!
Jumping out of the box, it changes size to perfectly fit the woman’s body and goes to
town. It’s fantastic!
It does everything she wants it to and knows exactly when to speed up, slow down, get rough, be gentle, you name it!
After, her second orgasm, the woman says “voodoo penis, stop”, but nothing happens.
Again, she says, “voodoo penis, stop!” but still nothing happens.
Realizing she forgot the magic phrase, she starts to panic.
Grabbing some clothes and her car keys she makes a mad dash to the hospital to see if they can help.
She’s about halfway there when she has a third, massive, full-bodied orgasm and starts losing control of the car.
At this point, a cop sees her driving erratically and pulls her over.
“Ma’am, you’re driving very recklessly.
Care to explain yourself?”
Well, she does her best to explain the voodoo penis to the police officer but he’s clearly
not buying it. “It’s the truth!”
she pleads, shakily. Yeah right.”
scoffs the cop, “Voodoo Penis, my ass!”