GOSSIP

A man was hunting when a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over & discharged, shooting him in the genitals. Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor. “Well, sir, I have some good news & some bad news. The good news is that you are going to…

My wife phoned me, and she was breathless. “Where are you?” she screamed. “I’m at the pub,” I replied. She said, “I think the baby’s coming!” I said, “Well, he won’t get in. He’s underage.”

A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won’t quit came to his table and asked if he was ready to order, “What would you like, sir?” He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful…

Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavated The friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used. It is through this entrance that they find a secret passage way, one that is made at first…

Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one from Mississippi and the other from Texas, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The Mississippian said, “When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me.” The Texan lady commented, “Well, isn’t that nice?” The lady from Mississippi continued,…

A man had three beautiful girlfriends but didn’t know which one to marry. As a test, he decided to give each woman $5,000 to see how they would spend it.The first girlfriend went out and got herself a complete makeover, She told him, “I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because…

The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question: “When you die and go to Heaven… which part of your body goes first?” Suzy raised her hand and said “I think it’s your hands.” “Why do you think it’s your hands, Suzy?” Suzy replied “Because when you…

A lady walks into the pro shop to complain about bee stings while she is golfing. The pro asks: “where’d you get stung?” “Between the first and second hole”, she answers. The pro replied: “your stance is too wide”.

Two nuns are tasked with painting a bedroom. They are concerned about getting paint all over their outfits, so they lock themselves inside and str*p out of them and begin painting in their und*rwear. All is going well until there is a knock at the door. “Who is it?” They ask. “Blind man,” is the…

She gets out of bed and puts on her shoes. As she’s walking down the hallway to the convent kitchen, another nun looks at her, smiles and says, “Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!” She thought this was a bit odd, but decides to ignore it and keeps on…