GOSSIP

Adam was talking to his friend at a bar. He said, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, So I’m stuck.” His friend said, “I have an idea! Why don’t you make up a certificate saying that she…

A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says, “Oh my, you have such beautiful dogs. What are their names?” The blonde replies, “Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex.” The man responds, “Huh, that’s interesting. Why did you name them such names?” The…

Four friends who hadn’t seen each other in 30 years reunite at a party. After several drinks one of the men had to use the restroom those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, “My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of…

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP!’ really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do…

In a terrible car accident, 3 nuns die at the same time. They all appear in front of the gates of Heaven to meet Saint Peter. When they arrive, Peter informs them that those who lived a life of the cloth must answer some basic questions about theology before they are permitted to enter Heaven….

A mailman was retiring after running the same route over 20 years, he had gotten to know the people pretty well so he left little notes of appreciation in their mailboxes… The next day he gets to the first house on the block and the couple there greet him with a going away present and…

My wife said she would leave me if I don’t stop comparing everything to Bruce Willis movies, but you know what they say about old habits… They Pulp Fiction.

Dad is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bedtime. She says – God bless mommy and god bless daddy and god bless grandma and… goodbye grandpa. He asks her – why did you say that? I don’t know, I just felt like saying it. The next day, grandpa drops dead. Wow, thinks dad,…

A guys sees a pretty girl sitting alone in a library .He leans over and asks her “Do you mind if I sit with you?”. The girl answers loudly “Hell no I don’t want to sleep with you, you fu*king pervert!!!” Everybody in the library looks at the guy and he feels humiliated. After a…

A couple is trying to have a baby. Finally, the blonde tells her husband, “Honey, I have great news! We’re pregnant, and we’re having twins!” The husband is overjoyed and says to his wife, “Honey that’s wonderful, but how do you know so soon that we’re having twins?” She nods her head and says, “Well,…