YOUR LIFESTYLE MAGZINE
She said yes! As long as I took care of all the details! So I took some odd jobs mowing grass, washing cars, walking dogs all to be able to afford buying the the things I needed to buy! I finally saved up But now I have a new problem… I’ve become so good at…
A Depressed Blonde Guy Walks Into A Bar A Blonde Guy walks into a bar very down on himself. As he walks up to the bar the bartender asks, “what’s the matter?” The Blonde Guy replies, “well I’ve got these two horses (sniff, sniff), and well… I can’t tell them apart. I don’t know if…
Bill Gates goes to purgatory. St. Peter says, “Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go”. First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches. Then, St Peter shows…
My dad and my step-mom kicked me out of the house today right after I introduced them to my pregnant girlfriend. Apparently, they’re upset because they wanted me to become a doctor. But hey, at least I’m about to deliver something!
A man spent all his life alone, finding no love. At age 96, he dies and goes to heaven. At the same time, a woman spent all her life alone, finding no love. At age 102, she dies and goes to heaven. As chance has it, they both meet at the heavenly library, discovering they…
Marilyn Monroe suggests to Albert Einstein : “If you and I were to marry, our kids will be the smartest and most beautiful in all the world.” Einstein: “What if they get my looks and your brain?”
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of Melons are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s bre@sts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice,…
A guy walks into a bar, says to the bartender “if I show you something amazing will you buy me a drink?” The bartender says “sure, but I’ve been bartending a long time so it’s gotta be good” Guy reaches into his pocket pulls out a little piano and a frog, the frog starts playing…
A new York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?” The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.” Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in…
A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: “Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?” “We’re taking United” was…