GOSSIP

An older couple invited another couple over for dinner. The husband entertained them as his wife finished up in the kitchen. “We discovered an amazing restaurant the other day,” the husband bragged. “Great ambiance and awesome food.” “Really?” the other husband said. “What’s it called?” “Hmm. The name. The name of the restaurant… Oh, I…

Four Catholic women were bragging to each other about how successful their children were. The first woman said, “My son became a bishop. When he walks into a room, people say, ‘Your Excellency.’” The second woman said, “Oh yeah? Well my son is a cardinal. When he walks into a room, people say, ‘Your Eminence.’” The third…

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, “Take only one. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of…

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. “I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE… I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO… I PRAY FOR A…

Two Irishmen are traveling to Australia. Before they leave home, one of their dads gives them both a bit of advice: “You watch them Aussie cab drivers. They’ll rob you blind. Don’t you go paying them what they ask. You haggle.” At the Sydney airport, the Irishmen catch a cab to their hotel. When they…

“Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call. I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows ’95. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to…

Every morning, when I’m about leaving for work, my wife always reminds me of something that I forgot. Sometimes the house keys, other times the office keys, often times my mobile phone, the charger or even documents and always finds the occasion to throw taunts at me like: “You’re starting to get old and lose…

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his trousers and again washes his hands. The girl has been watching him…

Jerry was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully to his wife, Karen, “I have one last request dear,” he said. “Of course, Jerry,” his wife said softly. “Six months after l die,” Jerry said, “I want you to marry Bob.” “But I thought you hated Bob,” she said. With his last breath, Jerry said, “I…

Two men were having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course. They didn’t bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette. After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man said:…