Bob – I think my wife has a lover – a florist. Andy – How do you know? Bob – When I returned home after work, I found freshly gathered roses on the bed. Andy – Well, and I think my wife has a lover – a plumber. Bob – How do you know? Andy … Read more
The man came home early from work to find his wife lying n@ked on the bed, crying her eyes out. What’s wrong? he asked. I’ve got nothing to wear to the dance tomorrow night, she sobbed. Oh come on now! You’ve plenty of clothes, and with that he went over to the wardrobe. See here, … Read more
I’m furious, my wife is cheating on me with a painter. I found traces of paint in the bed. It’s good that with a painter, and mine cheats on me with a truck. “That’s enough, how about a truck?” “I found a driver in bed.”
A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, “I’ve had enough and have left you. Don’t bother coming after me.” Then she hide under the bed to see his reaction. After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen … Read more
A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. “Well sister, this looks pretty grim.” “I know, father.” … Read more
A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse on the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns … Read more
A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak…. He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, and discharged… shooting him in the genitals. Several hours later, lying in a hospital … Read more
An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants and raised her legs. The dentist said: “Excuse me; I ‘m not a gynecologist.” “I know,” said the old lady. “I want you to take my husband’s teeth out.”
A man walks into a bar with his iphone… He suddenly realizes he needs to fart. He logs into Itunes and ups the volume thinking ‘the music is loud no one will hear’ So he farts… When he looks around, everyone’s staring at him Then he realizes… He was listening to his iphone with headphones.
A woman joins a country club and when she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, “I played on my college’s golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?” No one wants to say ‘yes’, but they’re on the spot… Finally, one man says, “Okay, but we … Read more